Score: 8

"Burning Heat!"

submission: "Lame" Episode 1 (Part 1)

date: February 9, 2004

AUGH, I was gonna use burning heat in a flash and finally submit one to the portal @_@

Just goes to show, procrastination doesn't do ya any good, kiddies.

Aw, man...great flash though! I like your style.

Score: 6

"It was good and awful at the same time"

submission: The Legacy of XStar:Ep4Re

date: February 9, 2004

Well, the animation was great. Even though they're stick figures, you shade them really well, and the animation is very smooth. Overall it's very nice to look at.

Unfortunately, It's incredibly painful to listen to. Get some voice actors, seriously. Drag a couple of kids out of the drama department at your nearest high school or community college or SOMETHING, because whoever is voice acting now just isn't cutting it.

You need to seriously write out your plot in a word document before trying to put in in flash. The dialogue is borderline, but fairly acceptable. Just because the plot is a little cliche doesn't mean you should cast it aside entirely. Furthermore, the blue guy had no reason to spare red's life, and turning red into a pansy after about 3 seconds of fighting was a little farfetched.

Another thing about voice acting. Falcetto is not the same thing as yelling. Find some time or a studio where you and your voice actors can belt out the characters' lines without having to worry about being quiet in the house or anything. It just isn't believable when a "NOOOOO!" is said with obvious supression. That kind of interjection needs to be thrown as loudly as humanly possible.

Score: 9

"So sad... *sniff*"

submission: The Blammed

date: February 9, 2004

Whoa...the holocaust, eh? Puts blamming flashes in a whole different light for me O_O

Makes me kinda feel bad for the flashes...like it's not their fault they suck, they were just made that way. So true, man. So true.

But one thing. You need a preloader in this one. Twice I tried to play it and it wasn't finished loading, so it sent me back to the opening screen. There needs to be a way to regulate when I'm allowed to watch the flash, cause even though it's good, I don't wanna have to watch it unfinished a few times before I finally see the whole thing.

Score: 8

"Needs work in some areas"

submission: Newgrounds RPG Demo

date: February 9, 2004

There are a few things that could have definately improved my play experience of this flash.

1) It's slooooooow. I have NO idea how you made it go this slow, because it looks like it's supposed to run smoothly. I've got a good computer, and it still runs as though every third frame was removed while I played

2) No menu screen. There's gotta be a menu screen. With status display. And skills/magic. And DEPTH. This game was overly simplistic in actial play. I wanna be able to DO more!

3) The soundtrack and the scenery made me feel like I was playing through a world that was some madness city, and the rest of it was New Zealand. It just doesn't feel like I'm going through a NG world when I'm travelling through this game. Just something missing about the atmosphere.

4) A lot more work could have been done on the sprites. I don't mean the quality of the sprites themselves, but the quantity of sprites used in the walking animation. Rather than having 3 sprites for normal movement, you could have boosted it to 5, or 7 to make walking look smoother.

5) Very rigid tile walking area. Rather than forcing us to navigate maps by way of large tiles, you ought to allow a more free and open range of movement, like the kind found in Chrono Trigger or Earthbound. That would have definately made moving around in the game more fun.

That's about it, or all I can think of. Pretty nice as it is, and I'm sure you've already heavily established this stuff, but now I feel important having said that stuff. Thanks for killing 10 minutes of my life!

Score: 9

"It's good, but it needs a touch up"

submission: Xombie: Chapter 3

date: February 6, 2004

The action in these cartoons is done VERY well, but there's a few things about character interaction and plot that just don't seem to be mixing well here...

Most of the jokes...actually, nearly all of zombie-man's lines are delivered with so many pauses and so much emphasis, that it just doesn't hit me as convincing. There's something about a character that pauses every third word he says that just starts to eat away at the badass he could really be.

The girl needs a personality. Or at least more of one. It seems like you can't decide whether she should be witty, shy, serious, kickass, or a jelly bean. But almost all of her lines are questions that are either obvious, or have been asked again and again (the next time I have to hear about how many zombies there are, and that there are ALWAYS zombies, I'm going to pull out my hair).

Oddly, the dog has more personality than the other characters combined. He has no lines, but the facial expressions just say it all.

Overall, The lines just need to be delivered with a lot less emphasis. When someone makes a joke, they shouldn't have to pitch it in their voice, or over emphasize the punchline. Anyone with half a brain will probably get it. The same goes for serious lines. It takes away from the impact of a serious line when all of a character's lines, serious or not, are said with the same emphasis and power. It starts to sound more like a bad speach impediment than an articulate person.

But I have to hand it to you, the animation here is SMOOTH. Everything was done beautifully, and none of the animation looked out of place at all. Except for the profile of the girl...there's something there that makes her look like a guy in the profile view. But that's really the only piece of artwork that didn't seem to fit. Everything else went together nicely.

Just work on the dialogue and I'd say it's Television-worthy.

Score: 9

"Great game, but the AI falls through"

submission: Crimson Warfare

date: February 6, 2004

This game was awesome to play until I found a strategy that broke through every strategy the AI could throw at me other than cheating. The perfect strategy is as follows:

1) Build a war industry and two buisness centers right off the bat.
2) Build a defense network as soon as the buisness centers are done.
3) Order both of the buisness centers to improve income.
4) While the defense network meter is filling up, clear the battlefield with some snipers.
5) Build a defense cannon ASAP. Clear the field with snipers. If the defense cannon gets destroyed, just replace it immediately.
6) Build the 2 upgrades for the defense cannon ASAP. Clear the field with snipers.
7) When the upgrades are done, wait for your money to reach 450, then order two more improve incomes from the buisness centers.
8) Flood the field with snipers until the enemy base collapses.

The only time this strategy doesn't garantee you a victory is on the "hardest" stage of the custom game mode, where it is next to impossible to defeat the computer enemy because it cheats, allowing it to throw 5 tanks, infantry, snipers, and several fighters at you all at once.

I was dissapointed to see that "difficulty" settings in this game were limited to the amount of cheating the computer enemy does. I think it would be more impressive to make a game in which the difficulty of the battle is based on the tactics used by the AI, not by the amount of ridiculous benefits the computer gets.

Some of the best strategy games that exist do not allow the AI to cheat. Chessmaster, for example. Which reminds me, I gotta go burn away 9 hours of my life on chess master. Good work with the game, but try to work on the AI a little more.

Score: 10

"Walrus kicks ass, plasman sucks ass"

submission: You are a F*cking Moron8

date: January 23, 2004

plasman, who reviewed this movie, wrote: "your right britney spears is a crack whore slut bitch"

plasman, buddy, pal, I like YAAFM, and I hate Britney Spears just like you, but man, take some fucking grammar classes. Do you know how painful it is to read these shitty reviews one after the other? I wouldn't be surprised if Reginold did a special show on the average NG user.

I mean, the phrase "crack whore slut bitch" doesn't even make sense, you dolt. "Crack" and "whore" are not adverbs, and "slut" is not an adjective. In fact, the only word in that phrase that isn't a noun is "crack", and that's supposed to be the adjective supporting "whore". Holy shit man, I know you want to call Britney a crack whore, a slut, and a bitch all at once. Probably most people do, including myself. But holy shit man, you can't string together all those words and expect it to sound badass.

I could have even overlooked the fact that you used the possessive word, "your" instead of "you're" which is most likely what you were trying to say. But screw that, you're too good for proper grammar, aren't you dumbass?

Apparently, you're also too good for punctuation and capitalization, as you failed to capitalize the beginning of your sentence as well as Britney Spears' name (unless that was supposed to be some clever ploy to further insult the "crack whore slut bitch"). And you forgot to put a period at the end of your single, borderline-incoherant sentence.

But hey, writing the english language like it was taught to you by an infant is cool, because it shows that you ignore the rules of grammar and sleep in your classes. And that makes you a rebel. And rebels are cool by default, no matter how stupid or vain they usually tend to be.

Great flash Walrus. Sorry about lashing out on the page of a YAAFM episode. This damn flu's been making me edgy all week. Ah, good old NewGrounds. Maybe I'll get started on that flash I started like 9 years ago.

Score: 10

"A great clock production...period!"

submission: The 12 Pains of Christmas

date: December 24, 2003

And for some reason, I couldn't see anyone doing it but the clocks now...ahh I've been wondering if anyone was ever gonna do "The 12 pains of Christmas"...man this was awesome! NG could use more classic pieces we all want like this.

Score: 10

"Perfect"

submission: Megaman vs Metroid

date: September 25, 2003

As a video game simulation, this is perfect. It is the perfect example of what would happen if you threw megaman into a metroid game and had him fight Samus in the end...all the game specs were right on target too, from the running speed to the charge up time to the jumping and all other physics of the game, it's done perfectly. Even the Slide meets the specifications of the original game! Hey, maybe you and Andrew could get together and make a rockin "rockman neo" game! That, I'd like to see.

Score: 9

"Excellent!"

submission: Emilio Estevez Soundboard

date: September 24, 2003

I love the Breakfast Club! Besides, these were just great quotes in themselves, and well organized, so I had an easy time pranking...hehe...

Excellent Job man.